These are but meager words for someone so special

“I wanted my parents and Dawb and Grandma to live forever.  I didn’t want anyone in my family ever to die.  Everyone I knew in my life, who loved me and who I loved, was alive.  I made them all promise me they would never die:” qoute from The Latehomecomer.

This passage when I read it and then read it again, gave me a sense of sadness and brought up some memories that I had tried to bury.  Now I never made anyone promise, but it reminded me of when my mother was hospitilized and I went to see her on a Sunday afternoon in the hospital, I entered her room and she was sleeping, I just sat there next to her seeing how peaceful she was just sleeping, I got on my knees and laid my head down next to her just holding her hand, and started crying, whispering “Please mom, don’t leave me, I’m scared, I’m really scared.”  I also remember praying asking that she not be taken from us yet, that instead I take her place, as the oldest child.  My mom then just put her other hand on my head and told me “You don’t have to be scared, I’m not going anywhere.”  This struck a cord with me because I understand what is like to feel the complete, unnerving fear of seperation from those that we truly hold dear to us, and that is something that I never wish upon anyone, but I also realize that life offers us many great moments and only has two rules life and death are given absolutes, with one comes the other, it is unbreakable, and at times unbearable.

A small respite for a troubled soul.

A place I would like to visit again if given the chance, there is such a place in Kyoto, Japan.  A small traditional Japanese house that sits abit from the hustle and bustle of a main road, the whiteish tall brick walls that encompess the large front yard and the house beyond, when approching the house from the front along the winding stone walkway, there is a large cherry blossom tree to the left.  I once sat under this cherry blossom tree, my back leaning against the tree, it seemed happy that someone had come to pay it a visit as it almost sounded like giggling when the wind blew through its branches, my friend who owned the house would come and sit with me, she would curl up next to me and just lay there, then not one to be left out her Siberian husky Sasha, would come and curl up on my otherside.  As I sit there I gain a moment of pause a chance to empty any care in the world, I listen to the wind gently flowing through the branches of the cherry tree, the small sounds of Akira breathing as she rests curled up next to me, and Sasha staring at me with those blue eyes wondering when I’m going to throw the ball she just dropped in my lap.  I would take all this in wishing that it never end, that I could stay forever, but only coming to realize that I would have to leave shortly again, for time does not stop because you wish it.  Given the chance I would comeback again, and just sit under that tree, with Akira and Sasha as many times as possible, until I get a small tug on my sleeve, a nudge in my arm, or a cold nose to the cheek of playful dog just wanting someone to throw her ball.  Actually I was going to talk about wanting to travel the universe, but I think that was outside the  scope of the assignment.

Just a rock in the stream of time and life.

I was asked to choose an inanimate object which best defines my personality, well that was a hard one.  So many objects can describe my personality, but I think a rock might tend to sum them up, or at least I hope.  Like some rocks I tend to have rough edges, sometimes I say or do something without thinking about how it can effect or impose upon others around me, I don’t intend to be hurtful, I just forget that people don’t see things the way I do.  Like this rock there are times I seem to be cold or hard, as a friend once put it “Your heart has become stone, and it scares me to see you like this.”, I hold my feelings inside, I tend to be shy and steer away from people, prefering to stand alone as time and people flow around me.  Its not all bad, as I feel my personality is slowing transforming, like the rock in the river, as time moves, and I meet, and befreind more people in this river of life, my rough edges are slowly smoothed, my hard, rough exterior softens and I become polished and shiny.  Even though the rock and I still have a few rough edges, I feel as I continue to my college and life experience of meeting new people and trying new things,  just like water flowing over the rock, we will both become a more beautiful object.

Wahoo

 Thier are lots of people I guess I could choose from who I would have things in common with, but at this time I chose Albert Einstein.  I’m not saying I’m a genuis or anything, in fact I’m not even that smart, but Einstein was and he didn’t take no for an answer, he pushed boundries, where people just stopped and said it coudn’t be done.  He had a way of looking at things in a different light, instead of the conventional it can “only be done this way” thinking.  I would like to think I have that same quality in me, I sometimes come across problems on my job, people tell me “Oh it can’t be done, theres no way to fix it, no way to get around it.”  Where as when I look at it I don’t see it the same way as everyone else, and I find a way to fix it.  Now I may not discover the next big breakthrough in physics, but I would like to think Albert and I share that common trait of seeing the world in a whole diferent view, and that nothing is impossible.

Woohoo!

My first post, actually my first blog, crazy times ahead.